My Next Life Plan

Who Am I ?

Does this sound familiar? Charlie (or Charlene) has achieved the American Dream. Great success in their career, all the toys (including the yacht, sports car, great house), model wife or husband, great kids, not to mention receiving loads of accolades from the family, peers and community… and yet all Charlie (Charlene) can wonder about is: “Is this all there is? Because I am feeling depressed, empty, unfulfilled. There must be more to life than this!”

When our sense of power and all that we have achieved or accumulated feels meaningless, it’s time to reassess our self. What has seemed like success to you up until now may just be society’s interpretation of success. In the Western world today, we have gone from being heart-centered to being fear-centered. Just pick up any newspaper or turn on any TV to confirm this. Our egos are shaped and trained by the media, society, parents and the Roles that we play in our lives. There is a perception of reality that has been created for us, and often it takes a particular event or crisis in our life to make us begin to question whether this perception resonates with our own true essence.

Are we only the hats we wear? “Hats” refers to the various roles that we play in our lives or masks that we wear; “hats” are ego based. If we do indeed define our self by our hat, we are cooked. Because what will you be when you are no longer a banker, baker, president of the PTA or Exxon, successful speaker, loving parent or dutiful child, rich, powerful, team leader, best golfer, etc? In order to not define our self by a hat that we wear, we need to get in touch with our own true beliefs and awareness of who we really are. It is essential to be aware of how we define ourselves. Pointing out to you that the only true power is love, our sense of connectedness with each other, nature (of which people are indeed a grand part), may leave you thinking that just sounds pretty “out there”, “woo-woo”, New Age, or religious.

Step out of your box for a moment and evaluate where you are. When was the last time you recalled your own gifts, talents and abilities? Can you remember when you used to dream about how you wanted to change the world, perhaps ideally wishing to right some of the social wrongs? Can you just recall a passion you always wanted to pursue? Ask yourself what you missed out on that would have really felt good, been incredibly rewarding or fulfilling to follow while wearing your one of your various hats. What happened to all your heart-felt ideas? They probably don’t have an expiration date. Often they are just forgotten or seemed too lofty or silly or whatever.

Introspection, contemplation, and/or meditation can be useful to explore the question “who am I” at this juncture. Step out of your ego for a moment and prepare to shift your consciousness. Determine what beliefs are yours versus those of your family, media, society, friends, etc. and find out whom you really are. It’s time to get in touch with your inner space and let go of your outer world for a few minutes a day.

Ask yourself: “Am I present in my daily life? Peaceful, calm, centered? Do I have a sense of clarity and direction? Do I feel a sense of power without a need to be in control? How much time do I spend in my heart, in my thoughts, feelings? Do I experience joy and empowerment in my day?” Look at your definition of “Who am I?” Dig deeply within and, if pursuing the American dream isn’t working for you, decide what you need to create in your life going forward. Remember -Life is a banquet of choices once we become aware of what we wish to create in our lives.

Marion Ross & Tracy Latz