Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Shifting In The Workplace



I was recently questioned on the use of SHIFT techniques in the workplace. These are excellent and very practical questions to ponder! Especially during these stressful economic times. Work groups can take on the role of second 'family' in our life... they can be loving and fun or they can be quite dysfunctional at times. (I immediately think of the t.v. series 'The Office' and all of the dysfunctional antics that go on there with the resulting anger, guilt, shame, sense of unworthiness, abandonment issues, etc. that get fueled so readily with the insensitive comments or actions of others.)

"How does someone in an assembly unit/line deal with an obstacle when their performance is based on production and they can't stop to tap, or meditate, or Connect heaven and Earth - in fact, they can't step away for a moment until the designated break period?"

The most important thing for SHIFT-ing an issue is to get into your heart. It takes little time to picture your Compassionate Benefactor standing in front of you - I do this all the time no matter where I am or what I am doing if I feel an obstacle rearing its ugly trickster, shadow head. Once you have practiced this exercise or meditation, it can easily be done even with eyes wide open (again, I do it all the time to get into my heart for a patient overwrought with sadness or grief... or for an abusive patient who is angry and in pain over some issue going on in their life but verbally attacking me as they lash out... to prepare for radio interviews... to have heart to heart conversations with someone that is insensitive... or just if I am feeling alone, unworthy, etc if someone pushes an old reactive button of mine). Then I picture this Loving Benefactor standing just behind my left shoulder as I go about addressing the issue at hand or just to feel the love and peace and worthiness of the Loving Benefactor. it really can help with dealing with dysfunction in the work place or in life in general... standing in line at the grocery store... during meetings that seem senseless, etc.

"How does someone maintain enough energy to block and/or transform the negative energy of co-workers for 8, 10 or 12 hours on-stop and then still have energy to enjoy their time away from work?"

This is where the Self-Care techniques come in and are invaluable. Doing the 3 thumps daily followed by the 'zip up' can help immeasurably with this issue. The 3 thumps boost your own energy and then the 'zip up' keeps others form zapping your energy at work or anywhere else. If you know that a situation at work is going to be particularly problematic, then do the 3 thumps and 'zip up' before walking into it. Also, the regular stress-reduction techniques that you decide to do for your self in the Obstacle of Stress are a regular stress buster and rejuvenate you... that is why that is included in the book as an obstacle. When we do not take the time to de-stress, then we feel more vulnerable, feel overwhelmed and have less energy because we use up so much of our energy trying to 'hold it together' by tensing our muscles, worrying about what new stressor will pop up, etc. as we anticipate more trouble in our lives and harbor anger and resentment.

Regular PAR (Peace and Restoration) activities are crucial, making certain we take care of our self- mind, body and spirit.. which brings in the daily Dharma issue. When we keep the connection to awareness of who we really are (True Essence) and foster a sense of connectedness to all that is as these energetic, spiritual beings, then it makes us take situations at work or elsewhere much less personally. when we take things personally, we spiral down into various faulty thoughts and it drains our energy. We become harsh our selves and then contribute to the negativity in the workplace or wherever we are. Then we become part of the problem that we are battling... a cycle of negativity can be set up that will drain our life force out of us as we get so tied up in our egos.

The more you remove your own obstacles in your path, the easier holding the higher energy will become. We all struggle at first with falling back into the lower energies (we feel depleted when we do) at first, but each time we SHIFT back again into our heart, we are able to hold it there longer. Eventually it becomes almost second nature although we still have to keep an awareness of where we are choosing to live... in our heart in the moment or in our ego mulling over something in our past or coming up in the future. Where will you choose to live today? Tomorrow? At work? At home? On vacation? It is easier to hold our selves in our heart when we are less stressed.

"How do you deal with someone who has authority over you, who oozes with negative energy and disrespect, especially when concerns or complaints about that person are routinely ignored?"

This is a true test and challenge. It is important not to take their behavior personally although that can be a real test if they seem to target you as some people do, especially if they are intent in living in their negative, angry energy and they see that you are a Bright Light. They can sometimes want to make it their personal mission to put your Light out. It will be very tempting to step into your own abuser, angry energy to actually put your own Light out... this is what they want either consciously or subconsciously. It is best not to go there as the only person who will suffer the consequences are your self. (There is a lot more of this negative energy/trickster energy floating about recently since so many people are in fear, so be on the look out for it!) You could all band together (the Light Brigade) at work and throw a surprise party for this offensive person, letting them know how much you appreciate them for the role they play (there must be SOMETHING good about them, right?). Grin. This is what my mother-in-law would have called "killing them with kindness". It serves to suddenly get them in a state of surprise to be popped into their heart... a place they may not have been for some time. It is uncharted and forgotten territory for them... sometimes they need a little tour of that wondrous place. They might decide to SHIFT their energy there and move in for a while... who knows? Grin.

If they are truly abusive and it is detrimental to your own growth and well-being, then it might be time to put out some serious feelers and inquiries for a new position under a different supervisor or with a different company. You do not have to quit a job before you have secured a new one. (I wouldn't recommend it in these times.) Perhaps the job environment no longer serves to put a mirror in our face if we have SHIFTed our sense of unworthiness and lack of self-respect, if that is what the energy of the supervisor has been mirroring for us... and perhaps the new position in the job in the ethers has a new mirror to reflect dignity, self-love and self-respect back to us. After all, this is just another relationship that we have wittingly or unwittingly drawn to our self for us to learn by... who we are and who we are not.

If the new job is not feasible at this time or while you are looking for one (if the boss does not SHIFT with the wall of Love coming their way... grin), then the 'La Cucaracha' Technique in our book can be quite helpful and assist with not taking it personally on those days where you think that you are going to blow. The boss will start wondering why everyone seems to be humming or singing 'La cucaracha, la cucaracha.... la la la la la la la la laaaaaaa". Smile.

"Further still how can you share your own SHIFTing experience and knowledge appropriately in a workplace? With costs of living so high and so many people living literally from paycheck to paycheck so many can't afford a seminar, or a computer or internet access- even a book is a luxury compared to feeding the kids or putting gas in the car to get work. How can we share what we're learning and pass it on to those who so desperately need it?"

I find the best way to share it is first to be a role model... walking what you talk about... practice what you preach. If you are living your life going from fits of anger as you go from your victim energy to your abuser energy and then back again, no one is going to believe anything you have to say about how transforming anything you are using is. In fact, they are going to want to stay as far away from you as possible. Can you imagine if your supervisor you are asking about came up to you and recommended a book they were reading that was having a powerful effect on them that they used daily and helped them behave as they do at the workplace? yikes! We should find such a thing and hand it out to all the armies in the world to get them into killing mode! Divide and conquer.... or just divide and to heck with the conquering! Chuckle. Get my point?

People WILL notice when you truly SHIFT and are walking with increasing expression of your True Essence in you life, whether at work or at play. That is when you share with them how it is that you came to live more in your heart and share a bit of your journey with them. There are teachable moments that are ripe for such sharing.... of a story... of a technique. That is how we Shine our Light into the world and then we leave a Trail of Light for others to follow.

As for budgets, this blog site is free (tell them to visit it) as is the on-going discussion of the book concepts and techniques on the Beliefnet website at the SHIFT group at http://community.beliefnet.com/index.php?page_id=1107&group_id=1168

You can also request that your local public library obtain a copy of the book for circulation so that your friends and co-workers can check it out of the library. Just a thought. Smile.
DocTracy


Posted by docmarion & doctracy at 6:56 AM

Monday, February 9, 2009

Abuser/ Victim Mirror

Sometimes we attract others to us to learn.  Other times we have SHIFTed and the others who are used to doing the dance (sometimes the family dance) are just doing the same pattern that they have been doing for years... it is a reactive dance that is second nature and just a "normal reaction" done without thought.  Why does the cockroach come out in the dark and run when you cut on the light?  It is their nature... it knows nothing different.

Some people are of a level of consciousness that they live almost constantly in their shadows and have limited to no awareness of their Light whatsoever.

It is important to recall that we are very powerful in our choices... our choices to allow people that have continuous abusive patterns to remain in our lives versus the choice to remove them from our life except for a limited basis or to limit them completely.  We are very powerful in our choices.  No one can take our power from us again unless we choose to hand it over to them.  Their behavior is a reflection of THEM and NOT a reflection of us.  We are responsible as adults for our own behaviors and they are responsible for theirs.

In childhood we have an imbalance in the amount of control we have over our lives.  Children can easily be manipulated or controlled unwittingly by adults and made to believe all sorts of things that we as adults (with more knowledge exposure and life experience) would be able to reason with clarity that the reality is distorted.  As adults, we no longer have to buy into the false realities that were perhaps painted for us by people who did not necessarily have our best interests at heart.

Sadly, there are many adults in this world that have little understanding of where their heart is as they have lived with it walled or closed off for much of their lives.  These adults live in a world of anger, fear, guilt or shame and are so wrapped up in their own personal issues, misperceptions and drama; they are unable or unwilling to feel compassion for others and just live to distract themselves with behaviors that may be addictive or compulsive in nature.  It can lead to them being in their abuser energy and cause them to attempt to prey on others whom they perceive to have less power than them.

It is interesting to see that the victim and abuser energies can be flip sides of the same faulty thought.  For instance, if we have the constant thought or belief "I will kill or be killed" or "I will be taken advantage of unless I take the advantage first", then we could either walk in the energy of the one who is "killed" or "taken advantage of" OR we could walk in the energy of the one who "kills" or "takes advantage of others".

DocTracy

Some general questions I would pose for anyone in an abuser/victim dilemma as an adult to open up some avenues for exploration....
Ask yourself, "Why do I continue to see those people in my life that are so negative?"

"Why do I allow myself to be hurt when I do have a choice?  Do I need to see myself as a victim of the world? Is that just my old identity and I haven't learned how to replace it with who I really am? Do I have a perceived need to suffer rather than be joyful?"

"Am I afraid of my power to create love, joy, abundance in my life?  Are there further lessons to be learned to keep me stuck with these issues in my face until I discover what they are?"

"Am I trying to change (consciously or subconsciously) others through my own 'good' behavior and have a relationship on my terms?"

"Am I stuck in not being able to make a choice or recognize that I do have one?"

"Is it time to let them go so I can have space for more positive and loving relationships?"

I hope that a couple of these questions give pause for reflection and can assist you.

DocMarion